As an able bodied person, I can’t imagine wanting to go to a friend or family members wedding, and not being able to attend because the venue isn’t in accessible.
Since Kara and I met, I’ve become hyperaware of not only my own ableism that I’ve worked to move away from, but also the ableism of others.
In the time we’ve been together, we’ve attended two weddings. One, which was almost completely accessible, and the other which was mostly accessible.
Now that we are planning our own wedding, I bet you can guess which type I intend to have.
The definition of an accessible wedding. An accessible wedding is one in which a disabled person can access every part of the event, including, and not limited to, the ceremony, reception, dance floor, food area, restrooms, and dressing area if part of the wedding party or close family.
We attended one wedding in which I was a bridesmaid. The venue was mostly accessible in that Kara could get inside, but the bride’s room and grooms room were both upstairs without an elevator. This meant she would have spent the entire time we got ready downstairs by herself had she not been in a manual chair that (with help) I could get up the front steps.
The second wedding we attended was held at an old theatre. It had an elevator and Kara was able to access the ballroom, but not the dressing area as it had steps and she was in her much heavier power chair.
She has skipped weddings she’s been invited to due to inaccessibility.
Planning our 100% accessible wedding has meant paying attention to detail. From the width of our aisle to the height of the tables at our reception to the type of dance floor used, I’ve made sure she’s not held back from being a part of any aspect of our wedding.
Making our wedding completely accessible also had to be a priority for it to work. Because the truth is that the world is not accessible. As unfair as it is.
If you have a disabled friend, family member, member of your wedding party, or even spouse, I urge you to think as you are planning your wedding. Think about the width of doorways, types of entryways, and whether any aspect of your venue might make things difficult for that loved one.
If someone in your wedding party is disabled, thinking of their attire might be important as well. We couldn’t think of renting a suit for Kara. Hers must be tailored because suits standing never look the same as suits sitting.
Long dresses might get caught in wheels. Strapless dresses might not be adjustable once in the chair.
And lastly, consider parking. Making sure your venue has accessible parking, especially of you have someone attending who is a wheelchair user. It might even be helpful to reserve a specific spot for them so that a lift van has room, and it isn’t unintentionally occupied by another guest.
Good luck with your wedding planning.
xoxo,
Ellie,